Calm, cool, and collected

Daughter had a weird thing on her tooth last night, so hubby called the dentist this morning.  The tooth was a baby tooth and it was loose, but it was discolored.  We could see a little something at the top that was hard and looked bloody. We had no idea what was going on.  Hubby called and they told him to bring her in right away.  The permanent tooth was coming in just to the outside of the baby tooth so we were seeing that leading edge poking through.  They had to pull the baby tooth.  Hubby sent me a pic of daughter in the exam chair with gauze packed around her tooth.  I wanted to leave work immediately and rush to her side.  She looked so little and vulnerable in that big chair.  I felt anxious and nervous about the procedure. The Mommy Guilt kicked in and I felt awful for not being with her.  I was worried that she would need my comforting touch and soothing words, but I couldn't be there with her.

After a work meeting, I called and they were already out of the dentist office.  Daughter was just fine and handled it all great.  I'm sure I would have made her more nervous, even if I had tried look calm.  It probably helped her to have her Daddy there with her.

Master Carpenter

Hubby made a planter yesterday, all by himself. He is very handy, and I know he is capable of making cool things.  It is still fun to see him turn his ideas into new things.

An extra set of hands

If I were a single parent, I would have taken the day off (and most likely, gotten into trouble) so that I could take my daughter to a doctor.  Thankfully, I have a spouse and partner who shares that responsibility with me.  We are having some important meetings at work and no one was allowed to be out for a few days.  Hubby was able to take daughter to the doctor and get her some medicine quicker than I could have.

Handyman

It is so nice to have a man around the house to fix things.  Even when they aren't mechanically inclined, it seems that women still expect the men to take care of those things.  Whether they call someone to come do the repairs or fix it themselves, it is still a man duty.  I am quite all right with that stereotype!  I'm glad my hubby doesn't mind being the one to tighten the towel hook or glue daughter's sandal back together.  That saves me the time in trying to find the guerrilla glue, or figure out if I need the flat head screwdriver or that 4-pronged one!

Life is a Highway

And he wants to "drive it all night long." Hubby loves a road trip more than anyone I know.

I love to travel and I am lucky that my mom took me many places.  My dad didn't like to travel, so once I was old enough, my mom and I went alone.  I am lucky that hubby likes to travel even more than I do.

If we were rich, we would spend our lives travelling.  In our 14 years of marriage, we've gone everywhere from the NY to FL, GA to UT, TX to MO.  We like going for short weekend trips to the mountains, last minute trips to Disney World, and week-long stays in the Big Apple.  It really doesn't matter where it is, or what we're doing, we just like to go.  We love to see new places and revisit some favorites.  So far, it seems that our daughter has inherited our travel gene.  I guess we make it fun enough that she doesn't mind airport delays and traffic jams.  Not every trip is a bed of roses, but our motto is that we are happy as long as we're together.

Because of our latest trip, I did not blog for a few days.  Our closest friends moved to FL a few years ago.  It was a rare situation in which the kids were great friends, the moms were friends, and the dads were friends- all independently.  So, we try to get the families together as much as possible.  They came to visit us earlier in the month.  We let it be a surprise for our daughter and it was awesome.  She thought she was going to video chat with her buddies so we set up the laptop and told her to wait for them to connect.  Instead, the girls snuck into our kitchen.  My girl was so excited that I saw tears of happiness.  It was wonderful.  It seemed like a great plan to return the surprise, so we drove down on Thurs.  Their girls were upstairs playing when we quietly came in.  They were squealing with delight when our daughter appeared in the doorway. 

I am so thankful that hubby not only enjoys new adventures, but he loves making memories with his family.  He loves spending time with us and doing things to create happy memories.  Most of all, I am thankful that he loves to drive.  "If your going my way, I wanna drive it -All night long..."

New Beginnings

Hubby will start teaching at a new private school this fall, and our daughter will be enrolled there for the first time.  We're very excited about this new school and the opportunities of being in a smaller, more personal setting.  Daughter has been a little nervous though going into a new place. She has been friends with one boy for over 7 years and his mom is a teacher there (how hubby got in at the school!). Daughter was still a little anxious though about going into a room full of strangers.

Hubby can't wait for school to start, so he's been visiting the school and getting unpacked in his new classroom.  Today, there were other school workers in the building and they brought their daughters, who were the same age as our daughter. As little kids do, they immediately because BFFs and ran off to play. Hubby just called and he is taking all 4 girls back to our house to continue playing.  The moms are still working and the girls weren't ready to end their play date.

I am so relieved that hubby is forming good relationships with his new coworkers, but even more relieved that daughter will have a few friends on the first day.  Hubby gets another gold star today for chaperoning and chauffering four giggly little girls. 

Lukewarm

Some days are happy, others a little blue.  Some days, everything goes smoothly, and some days are full of mistakes.  Some days, you feel lovey dovey, and some days are just lukewarm.  Hubby seemed to be in a bad mood when I got home so it's been hard to focus on something positive for the day.  I worked 9 hours today but I still came in and put on my happy face for them.  I would love to go crawl into bed, but when our daughter wants to show me the treasures of her day, I will not turn her down.

Hubby grumbled about her trying to hug him during dinner.  He didn't want to drive when we went for a treat.  He fussed at her for where she was standing while we played Wii.  He fussed when she tried to play a game with him on the ipad.  He was being Mr. Grumpy Pants!  It doesn't help anything when I nicely ask why he is in a bad mood.  Of course, then it becomes my fault for accusing him of things he didn't do and only focusing on the negative.  ugh! 

So, for today, the best I can say is this:  Hubby cooked dinner and it was yummy.  That's his gold star for the day.

Snuggle buddy

Even though I've been married 14 years, I can still remember my single days.  I lived alone a few years before I got married, so I have some basis for comparison.  Being alone when you are sick is frightening and miserable.  One night, I started wheezing and couldn't breathe.  I had never had asthma, so I had no idea what was happening to me.  I was in a panic trying to figure out what to do.  Of course, it was a weekend night so I couldn't call the doctor.  This was before the convenience of phone-a-nurse.  I could either drive myself to the ER, scared of passing out being the wheel, or suffer through the night until I could call the doctor's office.  I opted for sitting up all  night trying to stay calm.  It turned out that I was having a major asthma attack that was easily treated.

Now when I get sick, I am so thankful to have another person to help me, to discuss it, and just to be there.  Hubby is very laid back and doesn't get too excited, even over medical emergencies.  A few years ago, I took a ride in the ambulance because my heart rate was erratic.  We decided that hubby should stay home with our baby daughter.  I was surprised a few hours later when I called to give a status update and hubby was asleep.  I had been taken in an ambulance with a possible heart attack and he was at home sleeping!  I was disappointed and irate.  Looking back, I realize that he did the only thing he could do- he waited and rested until he could do something. 

Yesterday, I felt horrible all day long, even after a long nap.  By last night, I just wanted to curl into bed and try to sleep the pain away.  Even though he wasn't sleepy, he still came to bed to snuggle.  He watched TV- quietly and in the dark- while I curled into him.  Comfortable with his heart beating in my ear, and his arm around my back, I drifted off to sleep.

My sweet girl

I'll post one thing for today to catch up on the days I missed this week.  Without my hubby, specifically this particular man, at this particular time in my life, I would not have this amazing, beautiful child.  Without my hubby, I wouldn't be able to give her the comfortable, happy life she enjoys.  She may not realize it now, but someday she will experience marriage and all of the difficulties that come with the partnership.  She will be able to look back and know that her parents put our family and her first every single day that we worked to stay together. Our daughter will know that her father loved her as much as I did, even if I constantly proclaim, "She's my baby."  She will remember that for half of all of the bedtime routines, it was her daddy there reading to her, saying prayers with her, and giving her a kiss good night.  For that, I stay married and will forever.

Traditional

Without a spouse, and specifically this one, I wouldn't get to try someone else's family recipes.  Today, we had 'traditional.'  This is what the in-laws call roast beef, rice, and gravy.  We don't get as fancy and plentiful with the side dishes as mother in law does, but it is still delicious!

Sunday naps

I don't usually nap, even on Sundays, but today was a necessity.  I wasn't feeling well, so I came home from church and crawled into bed.  Daughter brought me a stuffed animal to snuggle and she kept me company until I was ready to sleep.  Hubby made sure I had a some water and was comfortable.  It is so great to have that partner to take care of me.  I slept for over 2 hours and hubby played with daughter.

Can't resist his charms

Hubby seems to have a way of charming little kids, even those who are scared of other people.  Our friends have a 2 year old daughter that is silent around everyone except her immediate family.  She is cute as a button and smiles for everyone, but just refuses to speak or interact.  We see her at least once a month so she is familiar with us.  She has this attitude with her grandparents and even at the daycare she attends. 

Last night, we had dinner out with our friends and the little cutie was in her high chair at the end of the table.  Hubby was sitting on one side of her and her Dad was on the other corner.  Hubby was constantly talking to her and trying to make her laugh.  While her Dad ate his food, hubby helped her with her dinner.  She would flash him huge smiles, showing off her cute dimples.  At some point, she wanted out of the high chair and sat on hubby's lap. She was playing peek-a-boo and laughing with him.  She still wasn't talking (even though her mom recorded her chatting during the ride over), but it was obvious that she was happy interacting with him. The only time I have heard her talk was at our house a few months ago. She walked in and asked "where's that boy?" referring to my husband.  He obviously has a new friend.

Hubby had that effect on another friend's child that was not open to other people. Hubby kept trying to interact with her and now she adores him. Just the other night, when given the choice of me carrying her or hubby, she chose him.  He was delighted to be chosen. Hubby obviously has a gift with communicating with his students, but it is really cool to see him work his charm on the smallest, most timid of kids.

The Saint

OK, so maybe hubby isn't really a saint, but his behavior the last few days has been nothing short of admirable.

Our friends are still visiting from another state.  The couple has 2 daughters that are younger than our daughter.  Prior to their move a few years ago, the girls were all best buddies.  They continue to be best friends and we try to spend time together to maintain that bond. They stayed overnight with us for 2 nights and then checked into a hotel nearby.  The husband was working in town so he was gone during the day with their car.  Since my hubby is a teacher, he is home during the day with our daughter. Yesterday, hubby played chauffeur, camp director, and chef. 

I'm sure the hotel staff were perplexed trying to figure out the relationship between all of us. Yesterday, hubby went over to the hotel and had breakfast with the two kids and their mom.  I'm sure the staff knows that he is NOT the husband and father in that family.  After breakfast, hubby took all 5 of them to bowl. The bowling alley is a place that we visit often, so they were probably confused as well to see my hubby with a new woman and 2 new kids.  Then again, that sort of stuff probably happens often in today's world.  After bowling, they all went back to our house to hang out and play.  When I got home, I was greeted at the door by the youngest girl.  As much as I love going home to see my sweet baby girl, it was a treat to have another cute face greeting me.  She and my hubby were playing Mousetrap, while her mom was washing blueberries we had all picked earlier in the week.  Later, hubby took all 3 girls outside to play while the moms got ready for a Girls Night Out/reunion dinner with other friends. Hubby didn't mind watching them all until the other dad got in from working. He even got them snacks and helped them blow up balloons to play with.

I feel very blessed to have such great friends that we can trust completely. It didn't bother me even slightly that my husband spent the day hanging out with another woman. I am lucky to have a husband who happily took on the role of entertainer for our friends so that our girls could spend time together.

Watermelon

Friday afternoon, we went swimming at a friends' pool after work.  There were 4 kids total, my husband, and I in the pool.  All of the kids loved jumping off the diving board.  They made up games and tried different poses.  They were doing the pencil jump, cannonballs, and flips.  Being the big kid that he is, my hubby joined in. He was doing the can opener and the watermelon.  The watermelon is not my favorite because it looks like he is going to hit the bottom head-first.  Just to rattle my chain, he stayed under the water a little longer than necessary just to see if I could panic.  Our daughter still thinks that her Daddy is funny when he joins in with the kids.  At some point, she will probably be embarrassed, but I will always enjoy my middle -aged hubby playing like a kid.

Hold your mouth

Wow, I didn't even make it the whole first week before I got slack and skipped a day.  I had intended to blog everyday, but sometimes life gets in the way.  We had company and I didn't have enough time to write an entry. 

Everybody has their own little quirks when it comes to how they handle stress or concentration.  Some people twirl their hair or bite their bottom lip.  My hubby seems to display his concentration in his mouth but in a different way.  He opens his mouth and does these movements as if his lips are helping his hands. If he is opening a jar, his lips contort this way and that.  If he is scooping ice cream, his mouth will open and close in unison with the spoon.  It was very funny watching him feed our baby daughter as they both opened and closed. It is unique and rather cute!

Yard work

Yuck!  I hate the outdoors.  Maybe hate is a strong word, but there isn't really anything I enjoy doing outside, unless it involves an umbrella and some waves.  Otherwise, I couldn't care less if I ever went outside.  I don't even care what our yard looks like.  Weeds, grass, dirt... who cares!?  My hubby cares.  He cares A LOT!  He cuts the grass, edges the yard, trims the hedges, waters the grass (and the places he wants grass to grow), puts out seed and fertilizer, and prunes the trees.  He does all of this while I get to sit inside, enjoying the cool comforts of the couch.  Yeah, I have it made!

Hubby is so concerned about his yard that he cuts the grass before we leave on vacation, or when we have visitors.  He even cut the grass before he took me to the hospital to give birth to our daughter!  I was sitting inside timing contractions and he was making a mad dash around the yard with a push mower.  He knew that people would visit after the birth and he wouldn't have time to cut it, so it had to be done before we left. He gets rather anxious and shaky if it has been more than 4 days since he cut the grass.  He may be a little obsessed, but until he is sitting outside with scissors trimming the blades of grass, I won't worry.

Birds of a feather

Hubby and I tend to have more differences than similarities.  We don't share the same interests in most areas, but we have more agreements when it comes to music.  Tonight, we are going to see Rock of Ages, the musical.  Because we are both children of the 80's, we are excited to go see and hear this show.  I love music- listening to the radio, going to concerts, playing CD's, awards shows- all of it!  Some people don't care and can't tell the difference between Britney Spears and Joan Jett.  I love music and I'm fortunate that my hubby does too.  My music collection was doubled when we married.  Granted, most of it was very different from my tastes, but we have found some common ground- the 80's. 

Useless Info

I need my husband to provide winning answers to sports trivia! There may be women out there that can remember trivial sports facts, but I've never met one who could do better than a guy.

The calm during the storm

Yesterday afternoon, a thunderstorm came rolling into town.  It wasn't severe and we weren't under any type of warning.  I had the Weather Channel on just to monitor the situation but it didn't seem worthy of any concern.  Then, I saw a flash of light, the power flickered, and I heard an eerie, cracky, popping sound.  Lightning had hit something and it was close! My heart started to race and a wave of panic hit me.  What do I do? What do I check?  Has the tree outside been hit, or the house?

I sat on the couch for a few seconds not sure what to do. I did the only thing that made sense- I called my husband.  He was still out of town but I needed him.  I called and explained about the sound and the flash of lightning. I didn't see any signs of a fire, but I knew SOMETHING had happened.  Hubby told me to check the attic.  Ummm, ok- how??  I have never been in the upper attic, and had never even opened that door.  I was rattled and not thinking clearly.  Hubby stayed on the phone with me while I checked our walk in attic/storage and then he explained how to pull down the top attic stairs.  Everything appeared to be fine and there was still no sign of fire.

I went back to the living room to begin the check of our electronics.  The TV would turn on but there was no picture.  I discovered that the cable box was not powering on.  Cable reception was fine in another room, but not working in the living room. Apparently, the cable box had been zapped. Even though it was no longer on, it was hot to the touch and smelled like metal burning. I disconnected the box and called the cable company.  By noon today, the box was replaced and cable TV was restored.  I was very lucky that the lightning had only zapped one replaceable device.

I am very thankful that my husband is not scared of storms.  He actually enjoys watching a storm brew and seeing the dancing light of lightning. While the unpredictability of weather worries me, hubby finds it exciting and amazing.  I wish he had been here with me, but at least I had his voice to calm me.

As an aside, make sure to unplug your devices during lightning storms.  This one cable box was plugged into a power strip along with a TV, DVD player and Wii.  The other items were fine, but the cable box was destroyed.

Day 1- July 4th

It is Independence Day and I am enjoying a day with a quiet house.  The husband and the daughter have taken a trip to visit family and I must stay behind to work tomorrow. I love having the house to myself.  I can watch OWN all day if I want instead of Braves baseball, and I can eat whenever and whatever I want without Mommy guilt dictating that we eat healthy meals (which is why I am eating M&Ms right now).

Independence Day should be my favorite holiday.  I think I'll start listing that on those silly surveys I get from my mom and long lost former coworkers looking to find out about my favorite restaurants and where I have travelled. I am by all accounts an independent person. I've been pegged with that characteristic for as long as I can remember.  I was the one who branched out to a different college and then moved away from our hometown to attend grad school in another state. I didn't have many boyfriends and didn't really see the point when those relationships were going to end anyway. I was taught that I could do anything I put my mind too- with or without help. When I have a problem, I don't gather the girlfriends for a brainstorming session, I ponder alone.  When the dirty laundry is piled up or the toys are taking over the living room, I clean up.  It would take longer sometimes to wait for someone to help me or explain the problem with pile of Legos in the hallway. I just like doing things for myself, by myself.

What is the point of this blog again?  Oh yeah, being married!  I have been married for 14 years to the same man, and I intend to stay that way until the day I die.  As I cleaning the house today with VH1 videos cranked up really loud (something else I can't do with a kid in the house), I was thinking about how much I enjoy the time alone.  Sure, I will miss my hubby and little girl in a few hours when it gets dark and quiet, but at that moment I was content. 

And then I made up the bed.  Our king size bed... alone.  And stubbed my toe. It is a lovely shade of purple now and quickly approaching the size of the big toe.  Not good considering it is the one next to the baby toe. I sat on the bed, huffing and puffing, trying not to pass out as I waited for the pain to subside.  I didn't curse or yell any rants, but in my mind, I was blaming my husband.  If he had been here, he would have been helping me make the bed. I would never have been on his side, going back around to my side to get that last corner tucked in.  If he had been here, he most likely would have made the bed himself while I was busy painting our daughter's toenails.  He is pretty great like that.  He may overlook the dirty socks he dropped by the couch 3 days ago, but then he will surprise me by chipping in for another chore.

As I watched my toe swell and cursed my husband for going away today, a new idea took hold.  THIS is why I am married.  I have a husband so that I don't have to walk all the way around the bed to tuck in all 4 corners and manuever the bedspread all by myself.

It may be a little perk to being married, but every little bit helps, right? 

Intro

I don't need to give you the stats on how many marriage end in divorce.  You have either been divorced or you know someone who has.  If you don't know a divorced person, then you must be living in Mormon Utah or Amish country!  You are either too busy making Watergate salad for the social and/or baby shower, or you don't have electricity to maintain Facebook friendships outside of your zipcode.

For the rest of us, we are all too familiar with divorce.  It may be the couple who was so in love in high school that they took the plunge in college only to realize that as adults, they had nothing in common.  The same interest in MTV shows and Chick-Fil-A became less important when faced with college majors and car insurance payments.  Maybe you know a couple who made it 25 years before it all fell apart.  Unbeknownst to the rest of the world, and usually the wife as well, the groom kept on romancing all the single ladies.  Sadly, the ugly mess came to light later rather than sooner and the couple with the solid marriage are discussing assets and custody arrangements.  Or maybe you know some empty nesters that decided it was finally time to live for themselves and set their own course in life instead of compromising their way through the retirement years.  Maybe the wife still had a few adventures calling to her and her husband was content watering the garden and taking daily naps.

Whatever the circumstances, divorces are rarely easy, except in Hollywood where every imperfection is airbrushed away.  So, is divorce really the easier route than sucking it up and dealing with the problems?  We all have those days that we just want to be left alone. Every married person has a moment or two when they long for a first date or a first kiss.  How many times have you thought, "I do not want to have this same argument for the next 56 years!?"   I think at some point every married person questions their relationship status.  So, why do they stay married?

I can't answer for everyone, only myself.  I sometimes get a little irritated and angry with my husband, just as he does with me.  But we stay together. We don't even consider any other options.  This is our life and we're doing it together.  Even though we are fully committed to each other and our little family, we still have our moments of frustration and disappointment.  This blog is a way for me to focus on all the good things.  Regardless of how horrible I am feeling each day, I want to find one good thing about marriage and/or my husband. Some of the posts may be generic to the institution of marriage, and some may be specific to my hubby.  Maybe the posts will remind you of something your spouse does that you take for granted. Or maybe, you will realize that even on the hardest days, marriage is worth the effort. 

Let the journey begin....